Thoughts

When I grow up…

I know who I want to be when I grow up. Somehow, through the power of the internet, I found examples of exactly who I want to become.

They don’t write about sex and aren’t (as far as I can tell) kinky.

But they are (or so they seem to be) truly themselves. Authentic. Real.

They have success I will never have. One is a YouTuber with 7 million subscribers — it would be foolish to ever think YouTube would allow sexual content like mine to ever grow that large. So it’s not false modesty. I know I will never be that big…it’s okay.

Watching, following, consuming their content, I am inspired.

Not to do what they do or be who they are. I like the life I have — and the one I’m trying to build.

But I want to be fearlessly myself and do my best work…without taking myself too seriously.

Of course, I can do that now. I don’t have to wait until I hit some arbitrary level of success. And if I’m very, very lucky, maybe that level of authenticity will lead to monetary success. But the one thing I’m very, very sure about…authenticity like that will certainly lead to success in ways that can’t be measured by subscribers, followers, or money.

So I guess I don’t have to wait for anything. I just have to be myself.

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